


girl ease my mind

by starfleetbanana



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Academy Era, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Love Confessions, Mutual Pining, No Plot/Plotless, Orion stuff, Some stuff on marriage, this is a mess, this is a mess but i wanted soft lesbians
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-04
Updated: 2017-01-04
Packaged: 2018-09-14 15:19:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9188894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starfleetbanana/pseuds/starfleetbanana
Summary: Nyota Uhura thinks she knows better, or at least she should’ve known better than falling in love with her roommate. It’s agonising in a way only unrequited love can be when she enters the room and she sees someone else saying their goodbyes.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Honestly don't even I won't even try to explain this, it's numbered just because it makes no sense and I needed to separate this. Will I write a part two with the proposal and their marriage? PROBABLY, will it be any better? Maybe, because I didn't even try out of thirst here. Hope y'all don't come out of it too disappointed. Title from ease my mind by the queen of sapphics, Hayley Kiyoko.
> 
> Non beta'd aka adding to the fucking mess.

i.

Nyota Uhura thinks she knows better, or at least she should’ve known better than falling in love with her roommate. It’s agonising in a way only unrequited love can be when she enters the room and she sees someone else saying their goodbyes, Gaila looking completely relaxed in her post orgasmic bliss when she says hello to her. It’s heartbreaking because she wishes she could be them, but she also wishes she could be _more_ than them.

She really is, though. She’s not only her roommate but she’s also become her best friend and though she sucks at Orion -and Gaila’s dialect doesn’t make it any easier- they understand each other perfectly. Okay, maybe Gaila’s incredible willingness to talk about herself and Nyota’s to listen help, but all in all they’re good at explaining their feelings, or so they think.

Nyota Uhura really thinks she knows better when the door to their room swishes open and Gaila’s sitting on her bed biting her lips into a bruised dark green as she stares at the floor. There’s a black book in her hands and she seems so anxious it makes Uhura feel uneasy. She’s never really seen Gaila unhappy or doubting herself before.

She toes off her boots and throws her PADD and her cadet red jacket onto her bed. Before she says anything to try and get Gaila out of her thoughts she ties her hair into a bun, making sure she’s comfortable enough physically to make herself uncomfortable emotionally just to see her best friend smile.

There’s a second in which she lets herself imagine what it would be like to see her like this, her feelings taking over her usual smile and something akin to uncertainty in her eyes, while holding her in her arms and letting her soft red curls rest on her chest. But all she can do is sit on her bed in front of Gaila’s and make sure her hands are tucked underneath her thighs before she reaches for her. Her steps are silent as she goes and Gaila looks at her expectantly, the book slipping from her fingers.

“What’s up? Are you okay?” Nyota asks trying to hide how much she really _really_ wants to reach for her and just caress her cheek and make her look up with those bright eyes of hers. Gaila’s always been a very physical person and she loves that, but she feels unable to return it without it being overwhelming.

“Yeah, just… Prophecies, you know?” Gaila says returning her gaze to the book. Nyota huffs, “No, you probably don’t. It’s just that… I guess there’s not a word for it in Standard, is there? ‘Soulmates’ is kinda close, except you don’t have just one? I guess it’s people you fall in love with, but it’s more than that, it’s… Mh, complicated when you’re used to pheromones doing their job. It doesn’t exactly work when your not-quite-soulmate isn’t a guy or an alien species that reacts well to them, or when they just aren’t interested in you” Gaila finishes, pressing her lips into a thin line as she tries to explain.

It’d taken Uhura quite some time to understand Orion’s views on romantic and sexual attraction and how those were an important part of an Orion’s life but everybody knew  how Orion pheromones made people react.

The book Gaila’s holding is in fact her own personal book of prophecies she’d been given when she’d left Orion as a gift from her mother, and though Orion culture’s heavily focused on romance and sexuality the book of prophecies each Orion owns isn’t supposed to have many prophecies on the subject. Gaila’s has, in fact, two prophecies on the not-quite-soulmate thing, but Gaila’s never been one to talk about love. Neither is Nyota -not that it means anything when the girl she’s hopelessly in love with is looking at her with almost pleading eyes-.

“You know prophecies don’t happen exactly the way they’re written though. Plus you don’t have to find that person if you don’t want to” Nyota says chewing on her lower lip after she finishes. Though there’s no smile on her face, there’s a certain tone to her words that makes Gaila feel reassured, or maybe it’s just having her presence there. 

“It just says they’re supposed to be here already, you know? And I don’t know if they can deal with knowing they’re so important they get a motherfucking prophecy, Ny” She sighs, letting her book fall to the floor deciding playing with the hem of her skirt is a much better distraction.

“Come on, it’s a prophecy, it’s gonna be fine” She reassures her, this time searching her eyes because she can’t let herself touch her and damn, that’s the only way she can truly get to communicate how much she values and loves her and supports her through her eyes.

It’s said Orion’s pheromones have a bad effect on females of most alien species Gaila’s encountered in her life, especially in humans, but fuck it, Nyota thinks. Eating pussy’s supposed to be bad for your skin and teeth and she’s no quitting that, nor her all consuming ridiculous love for Gaila.

“I hope loving me won’t give her too many headaches. I’ll ask if there’s something I can do to keep the pheromones in control” Gaila giggles and finally looks up. Uhura inhales, noticing her shift from neutral pronouns to ‘her’, “I don’t even know what to do, Ny. How am I supposed to know if I’m just projecting?” She asks in frustration, covering her face with one of her hands.

“Fuck, dunno” Nyota shrugs, “I guess you just know. And you? Being in love? It must be the prophecy, otherwise your heart is made of stone for romance” She laughs and Gaila scrunches her nose up in response.

“Hey, that’s unfair” She calls out and grins before winking at Nyota, “Love is different than being purely physical. To Orions it really is different and humans confuse things all the time. The way I see it, I’d rather have vanilla sex with that person or have them hold my hand and hug me all day long than causing physical reactions on them all the time because of Orion stuff” Gaila shrugs and lets her head fall back with a sigh.

“So you’ll notice it immediately, then” Nyota gets up and Gaila quickly changes the subject before both of them get into their work.

Nyota practises her Vulcan script while Gaila checks and works on blueprint corrections. It’s their routine, the quiet of their company validating and warm and they’re more or less silent and focused until it’s too dark and they’re too tired to stay up. They follow each other’s movements and end up going to bed at the same time even though Nyota always falls asleep way faster than Gaila does, so she knows she won’t be able to get any sleep in a while.

“Hey Ny,” Gaila whispers in the dark. She can barely see her playing with her long red curls, “It might be wrong, though”.

“Why would you say that?” She asks, genuinely curious and not solely out of heartbreak. She holds her breath, waiting for more on Orion prophecies and Orion culture, but she gets Gaila’s laughter instead.

“Because whenever you sit by me you keep your hands busy. Would you ever hold my hand and hug me like you’re supposed to?” She asks, her voice small but her posture somehow making her look bold and, _fuck,_ Nyota’s so invested in this beautiful girl’s happiness she forgets how to breathe.

“Crap, is the book that specific?” She sighs in something between anxiety and relief.

“Yeah, it pretty much says ‘the roommate who speaks a lot of alien languages with ugly phonetics” She answers, not as quietly as before, “Would you, though?”

“I would write ugly sounding poetry if that book said I should” Nyota says into her pillow, bold as she’ll ever be. Her heart’s beating so fast she forgets the sound of her own voice for a few seconds.

“I would have awful boring vanilla sex if the book said so, for the record” Gaila sighs dramatically, covering half her face with the duvet.

“It does though” Uhura says with a snort.

“Well yeah, I might have to”

 

ii.

Gaila likes this new sort of dynamic they have, though it’s not exactly that different but fuck, she really does enjoy it when Nyota lets her interrupt her without a complaint because she feels she’s got to show this new side of her that’s capable of showing love. She likes holding her left hand when she’s busy handwriting, she likes to run her fingers through her long hair and tickle the back of her neck as she does so, relishing on the shiver that goes through her back and her mumbling afterward.

Nyota’s soft even if she doesn’t look like she can be when she’s fought half the academy to make sure everybody knows she’s the best at what she does. She’s strong, clever and sharp as a knife, but she becomes incredibly malleable and pliant when Gaila rests her head on her shoulder when she’s the little spoon. She’s soft when Gaila asks for a kiss, something they both enjoy doing immensely but always gets interrupted with laughter because it’s so new and a bit too perfect after months of pining. She’s soft when Gaila asks her to do stupid things like slow dance in their underwear at one in the morning because she’s just discovered this really great and romantic Orion classic and _Ny, we have to._

And despite their constant touching and closeness asking her out on an actual date still makes her feel like she’s about to die in a mixture of very conflicting emotions.

“I’m supposed to be the love of your life, Gaila, of course I wanna go” She answers and rolls her eyes when Gaila sticks out her tongue at her.

“ _Possibly one of_ the potential loves of my life, excuse you” Gaila corrects because it’s better to ignore the ‘soulmate’ connotation and just for good measure.

“Important enough to show up in your prophecies, mind you” Uhura retorts.

“I’ll let you know my first pet also showed up in my book of prophecies” She defends herself as Nyota changes into more comfortable clothes. It isn’t that cold but she’s wearing a wool jumper and it distracts Gaila to the point where she really just wants to cuddle for the rest of the afternoon instead of keep planning their date, “I’m taking you to a museum to use all my Standard pick up lines. The one true piece of art, the one I wish I could touch even though the signs tell me not to” She says dramatically, falling onto her bed.

“The one you can most certainly touch” Nyota says with a smile. She finishes folding her clothes and then approaches Gaila’s bed to let herself fall on top of her with a giggle.

“No pressure play, lady. I can’t breathe with you on top of me and no choking, Ny, only vanilla stuff”.

“‘Kay, ‘kay” Nyota hums into her skin and presses a chaste kiss to the soft skin of her neck before nuzzling it. Fuck, this woman can definitely be soft.

 

iii.

In spite of the amazing thing their relationship’s become Nyota doesn’t think it’s the ideal situation, with that of being called to your battle station when your fiancée, whom you proposed exactly after she’d hacked the Kobayashi Maru to help a _certain friend_ you’re supposed to be mad at, is assigned to another ship just because cadets are backup and not an actual part of Starfleet yet. So she clenches her fists in anger and kisses Gaila a million times goodbye before going to get her job done. The fact that her shift is full of tragedy and impossible missions only makes her bitter, but she can’t be let herself be weak just because she’s not used to this amount of destruction.

She deserves that post on the bridge more than anyone and she’ll be strong for it and keep focused on picking up as many things as she can from the transmissions she’s getting even when she sees nothing but debris surrounding them where Starfleet ships used to be just hours ago. It’s a lot to take in, but they’re safe.

She figures out her post isn’t the ideal when she gets the emergency transmission from the Farragut, the ship Gaila was assigned to, and she can hardly make out the words from their lieutenant before she’s asking Pike to just fucking do something.

They beam 96 crewmen up before the Farragut becomes nothing but debris, joining the other ships and corpses in the vaccuum of space. Nyota’s shaking badly, but she powers through it even when her voice breaks and Spock raises a curious eyebrow every time she has to think before pressing the right buttons.

“Lieutenant Uhura, your fiancée won’t let me tend to her wounds and she’s threatening half my team. I know Orions are great hypnotisers” Doctor McCoy says in what seems an infinite sight through the comm. She hears Gaila’s offended “HEY MCCOY!” and breathes in.

Three hours later, when they’re all in the safety of the bridge on their way to a space station for reparations Pike asks her to walk with him to medbay, “You can ask for a transfer”.

“I belong to the Enterprise, it’s what I’ve been working for, Captain” She says. She’s not even angry at whoever the fuck wrote the regulations, she’s just tired of being underestimated.

“We’d be glad to welcome Lieutenant Gaila to our crew. She’s friends with half of it anyway” He clarifies, clasping her shoulder and smiling in encouragement, “The situation’s different for everybody, we’ve got crewmembers whose families are waiting for them, but you’ve the option to work in the same ship and I think it’d be good for the both of you”

“Thank you, sir” She says and Pike leaves somewhere in the way to medbay to let her spend time with Gaila.

“You’re supposed to knock, Captain” Gaila says mockingly when Jim steps into their quarters with the most puppy like smile Nyota’s ever seen on his face, and she’s seen a lot of those.

“You can’t knock on these” Jim argues crossing his arms over his chest, “So? Do I get to marry you both or what?” Nyota eyes him in confusion for a moment before Jim rolls his eyes at her and right then and there she completely gets how those two are best friends, “I’m the captain now! I can officiate weddings for my crewmen, it’s the best shit ever”

“No, you’re not doing that for us, thank you very much” Uhura answers automatically, imagining how much of a) a fucking mess it’d be with Jim crying half the ceremony b) a fucking mess it’d be with Jim Kirk trying to get serious when his eyes get too blue and his face gets red when he cries, “There’s no fucking way”

“Oh come on, it’ll be fun!”

“Nope” She repeats and looks at Gaila looking for support but of course when it’s about her best friend, the only one who’s as childish and good at their job as Gaila is, there’s no way she’s winning this argument with her own future wife’s help.

“Come on, Gaila’ll let you do anything you want” He pushes and Gaila laughs at him instead of supporting Nyota and instead of getting angry about it all she can think about is how that smile can get her to do absolutely anything.

“No, I won’t, let her choose” She says eyeing Nyota with the most obvious heart eyes in the world, except Jim’s the only one who can see that.

“You’re both fucking gross” He sighs.

“You literally say the most embarrassing things to McCoy through the comm, don’t” Nyota says defensively and Gaila laughs again and fuck, she’s so soft for this girl it’s scary. What she doesn’t know though is that Gaila thinks she’d fucking pay Spock to teach her how to say romantic stuff in Vulcan and that _really is a lot_ for Gaila.

**Author's Note:**

> Again, just odn't even try, I won't even try to explain this, I'll just leave this here and disappear from the trek tag out of embarrassment again.


End file.
